Horrid Human Holiday
Dec. 25th, 2009 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blkdragonqueenHorrid Human Holiday
“Can we go home yet?” The voice floated out of the radio sounded petulant and Judy Witwicky had to hide a smile.
“Five more stores and then we can go home,” she chuckled as she patted the steering wheel.
“Oh Primus, why?” the yellow Camaro groaned as he turned into yet another crowed parking lot at Judy’s gentle tug on his wheel. “We’ve been out since four this morning! It’s nearly three in the afternoon now!”
“Well all the best deals are today,” Judy replied as she tried to find a good place where she could not only get out of ‘Bee but where not a lot of people would notice the car going off to park itself. “The stores want to get rid of all their Christmas stock before the end of the day.”
“These human holiday’s are so hectic,” Bumblebee muttered as he came to a quick stop as someone suddenly backed out of spot without warning. “How can you get anything more?” he said in a louder voice. “I don’t think I have any more room in my trunk!”
“Indeed. Thank goodness for complimentary wrapping as most of this next batch will have to go in your back seat.”
The yellow car just groaned again. “It could be worse,” Judy snickered as she climbed out and ‘Bee quickly lit up a hologram in her place.
“How?” ‘Bee sulked.
“You could be with Ron and Sam.”
“Oh don’t remind me!”
~*~
“You are not putting that on my roof!” the disguised Cybertronion nearly bellowed, completely ignoring the multiple humans wandering about in the parking lot.
“But we have too,” Ron insisted as he leaned his burden against a pole. “It’s the only way to get it home.”
“Come on ‘Cade,” Sam’s voice sounded cajoling. “It’s tradition!”
“Not my tradition!” the Decepticon huffed. “That thing is going to scratch my paint! And how are you going to latch it down?”
“Well it’s why we brought you,” Ron said cheerfully. “We thought if we could wrap a rope around your lights and…”
“WHAT?” Barricade bellowed outraged. “Those are delicate! And I hate scratches! Mean’s I have to see a medic to get them filled before they rust!” Ron and Sam shared a small smile while Barricade stared at the tree in disdain. “Couldn’t you have called that gun totting nut job to come haul it for you?”
“He’s with the Lennox’s out in Wisconsin visiting Mrs. Lennox’s family,” Sam said simply as he made a small gesture to his dad.
With a quick nod in understanding both Ron and Sam suddenly heaved the tree upwards and slung it right on top of Barricade who gasped in outrage and grunted under the newly added weight. The tree that the two humans had picked out was so large that both ends hung over both of Barricade’s bumpers. “Oh I hate you,” the ‘Con snarled as the two went about securing the tree to him, slipping long ropes under his hood through the open back windows.
“No you don’t,” Sam snickered as he slipped into the passenger seat. They had learned long ago that when Sam was with his dad, people were less surprised to see Ron driving the patrol car than a seventeen-year-old boy.
“Stupid traditions,” Barricade groused as he pulled out of the Christmas tree parking lot and right down into a chilly puddle of water that splashed right up into his undercarriage. “COLD!”
~*~
With the packages and tree brought into the house, both mechs were never so grateful for the garage, never mind that they still were forced to share it together as they both quickly backed in and Barricade overrode the controllers to shut the door, rather disappointed that he couldn’t slam it for emphasis.
“Well that sucked,” Bumblebee groused as he sat low on his tires. “I’ve never known what the term ‘stuffed to the gills’ meant but I know what it feels like!”
“At least you don’t have a scratched up roof!” Barricade snipped back. “Do you know how hard it’s going to be trying to avoid Ratchet and his buffer?”
“Ha! Ha!” Bumblebee snickered.
“Hey guys!”
Both mechs switched their vision cams from the front to the side door where Sam and Mikaela were entering. It was Mikaela who had spoken. “Merry Christmas Mikaela,” Bumblebee promptly replied as he had learned that was the current standard greeting for this one specific day, getting an annoyed groan from Barricade at his cheerfulness.
“Happy Holiday’s!” she replied just as brightly. “I’ve got presents!”
“Of course you do,” Barricade huffed. “Isn’t that the whole point of this holiday?”
“No, it’s not and you know it,” Sam chastised though he was still smiling as he turned to Mikaela. “Don’t mind him. He’s still a bit pissed at us for using him as a glorified tree hauler.”
“Scratches on my roof, scratches on my hood… my entire inside smells like an Earth forest.”
“At least you don’t have squirrels living in you,” Bumblebee chuckled.
“Oh hardy har, har,” Barricade huffed.
“Anyway,” Mikaela broke in quickly, “the present’s are for you two.”
“Really?” Bumblebee instantly perked up even as Barricade went silent in curiosity. “What is it?”
“A few new cans of oil and some special car wax!” the girl announced pulling the items out of the large shopping bag she had been holding. “I would have wrapped them but I think you would have had a hard time of it.”
“Indeed. Thank you Mikaela!” Bumblebee chirped.
There was a long pause before the dull thud of Bumblebee’s door smacking Barricade’s side sounded in the small building adding a nice new dent along with the scratches. “Yeah, whatever. Thanks,” Barricade muttered.
“Well, we’re heading back into the house. Merry Christmas guys!” Mikaela chuckled as she set the bag aside.
“Night guys! If you see Santa and his sleigh, for the love of Primus don’t shoot him down!” Sam snickered.
“I thought you said he wasn’t real!” Bumblebee instantly yelped.
Sam just shrugged as he held open the door for his friend. “See ya in the morning!”
“They’re taking this very well,” Mikaela chuckled as she and Sam entered the kitchen to find Miles nibbling away on rolls.
“Taking what?” Miles asked curiously.
“The holiday’s,” Sam elaborated. “Though I think they’re more tired than anything else. Between getting the tree and mom’s last minute shopping I’ll bet they’re exhausted.”
“So?” Mikaela drawled as she snagged a can of soda out of the fridge. “What did you get them?”
Sam just smiled as he accepted a roll from Miles. “Plants,” he laughed. “For the garage.”
“Plants?” Miles asked surprised giving his friend a long sideways look before glancing at Mikaela. They both had the same thought. Sam had way too much of his father in him. “How’d they react to that?”
“Don’t know yet,” Sam smiled. “They haven’t found them yet.”
Mikaela and Miles shared another look before Mikaela sighed and headed out to the living room to speak with Sam much more mature cousin from Oregon.
~*~
Barricade listened to the horrid Christmas music that seemed to be on every radio station. He was more than tempted to just shut the radio off but that would just give ‘Bee the go ahead to start talking to him again. With a sigh, Barricade suffered through another rendition of the song about a deer as he looked about the garage. Sam had decorated it for them and much to his dismay Barricade actually liked the small colored lights about the place. It made for a soft atmosphere.
With a small sigh he followed a piece of garland upwards until his scanners finally found the small cluster of a famous holiday plant hanging innocently over both he and the blasted yellow Autobot scout! ‘I HATE HUMAN HOLIDAY’S!’ Barricade groused to himself and hoped desperately that Bumblebee would fail to notice the innocent bundle hanging above them until Barricade could sneak it out and burn the horrible thing in the morning. No doubt Bumblebee, in all his innocence, would insist that they adhere to the human ritual never mind the fact that he wasn’t privy to all the facts since Barricade had practically forbidden Sam from telling the bug all the details upon his own discovery of the hideous tradition that was the mistletoe.
“Bah humbug.”
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
“Can we go home yet?” The voice floated out of the radio sounded petulant and Judy Witwicky had to hide a smile.
“Five more stores and then we can go home,” she chuckled as she patted the steering wheel.
“Oh Primus, why?” the yellow Camaro groaned as he turned into yet another crowed parking lot at Judy’s gentle tug on his wheel. “We’ve been out since four this morning! It’s nearly three in the afternoon now!”
“Well all the best deals are today,” Judy replied as she tried to find a good place where she could not only get out of ‘Bee but where not a lot of people would notice the car going off to park itself. “The stores want to get rid of all their Christmas stock before the end of the day.”
“These human holiday’s are so hectic,” Bumblebee muttered as he came to a quick stop as someone suddenly backed out of spot without warning. “How can you get anything more?” he said in a louder voice. “I don’t think I have any more room in my trunk!”
“Indeed. Thank goodness for complimentary wrapping as most of this next batch will have to go in your back seat.”
The yellow car just groaned again. “It could be worse,” Judy snickered as she climbed out and ‘Bee quickly lit up a hologram in her place.
“How?” ‘Bee sulked.
“You could be with Ron and Sam.”
“Oh don’t remind me!”
~*~
“You are not putting that on my roof!” the disguised Cybertronion nearly bellowed, completely ignoring the multiple humans wandering about in the parking lot.
“But we have too,” Ron insisted as he leaned his burden against a pole. “It’s the only way to get it home.”
“Come on ‘Cade,” Sam’s voice sounded cajoling. “It’s tradition!”
“Not my tradition!” the Decepticon huffed. “That thing is going to scratch my paint! And how are you going to latch it down?”
“Well it’s why we brought you,” Ron said cheerfully. “We thought if we could wrap a rope around your lights and…”
“WHAT?” Barricade bellowed outraged. “Those are delicate! And I hate scratches! Mean’s I have to see a medic to get them filled before they rust!” Ron and Sam shared a small smile while Barricade stared at the tree in disdain. “Couldn’t you have called that gun totting nut job to come haul it for you?”
“He’s with the Lennox’s out in Wisconsin visiting Mrs. Lennox’s family,” Sam said simply as he made a small gesture to his dad.
With a quick nod in understanding both Ron and Sam suddenly heaved the tree upwards and slung it right on top of Barricade who gasped in outrage and grunted under the newly added weight. The tree that the two humans had picked out was so large that both ends hung over both of Barricade’s bumpers. “Oh I hate you,” the ‘Con snarled as the two went about securing the tree to him, slipping long ropes under his hood through the open back windows.
“No you don’t,” Sam snickered as he slipped into the passenger seat. They had learned long ago that when Sam was with his dad, people were less surprised to see Ron driving the patrol car than a seventeen-year-old boy.
“Stupid traditions,” Barricade groused as he pulled out of the Christmas tree parking lot and right down into a chilly puddle of water that splashed right up into his undercarriage. “COLD!”
~*~
With the packages and tree brought into the house, both mechs were never so grateful for the garage, never mind that they still were forced to share it together as they both quickly backed in and Barricade overrode the controllers to shut the door, rather disappointed that he couldn’t slam it for emphasis.
“Well that sucked,” Bumblebee groused as he sat low on his tires. “I’ve never known what the term ‘stuffed to the gills’ meant but I know what it feels like!”
“At least you don’t have a scratched up roof!” Barricade snipped back. “Do you know how hard it’s going to be trying to avoid Ratchet and his buffer?”
“Ha! Ha!” Bumblebee snickered.
“Hey guys!”
Both mechs switched their vision cams from the front to the side door where Sam and Mikaela were entering. It was Mikaela who had spoken. “Merry Christmas Mikaela,” Bumblebee promptly replied as he had learned that was the current standard greeting for this one specific day, getting an annoyed groan from Barricade at his cheerfulness.
“Happy Holiday’s!” she replied just as brightly. “I’ve got presents!”
“Of course you do,” Barricade huffed. “Isn’t that the whole point of this holiday?”
“No, it’s not and you know it,” Sam chastised though he was still smiling as he turned to Mikaela. “Don’t mind him. He’s still a bit pissed at us for using him as a glorified tree hauler.”
“Scratches on my roof, scratches on my hood… my entire inside smells like an Earth forest.”
“At least you don’t have squirrels living in you,” Bumblebee chuckled.
“Oh hardy har, har,” Barricade huffed.
“Anyway,” Mikaela broke in quickly, “the present’s are for you two.”
“Really?” Bumblebee instantly perked up even as Barricade went silent in curiosity. “What is it?”
“A few new cans of oil and some special car wax!” the girl announced pulling the items out of the large shopping bag she had been holding. “I would have wrapped them but I think you would have had a hard time of it.”
“Indeed. Thank you Mikaela!” Bumblebee chirped.
There was a long pause before the dull thud of Bumblebee’s door smacking Barricade’s side sounded in the small building adding a nice new dent along with the scratches. “Yeah, whatever. Thanks,” Barricade muttered.
“Well, we’re heading back into the house. Merry Christmas guys!” Mikaela chuckled as she set the bag aside.
“Night guys! If you see Santa and his sleigh, for the love of Primus don’t shoot him down!” Sam snickered.
“I thought you said he wasn’t real!” Bumblebee instantly yelped.
Sam just shrugged as he held open the door for his friend. “See ya in the morning!”
“They’re taking this very well,” Mikaela chuckled as she and Sam entered the kitchen to find Miles nibbling away on rolls.
“Taking what?” Miles asked curiously.
“The holiday’s,” Sam elaborated. “Though I think they’re more tired than anything else. Between getting the tree and mom’s last minute shopping I’ll bet they’re exhausted.”
“So?” Mikaela drawled as she snagged a can of soda out of the fridge. “What did you get them?”
Sam just smiled as he accepted a roll from Miles. “Plants,” he laughed. “For the garage.”
“Plants?” Miles asked surprised giving his friend a long sideways look before glancing at Mikaela. They both had the same thought. Sam had way too much of his father in him. “How’d they react to that?”
“Don’t know yet,” Sam smiled. “They haven’t found them yet.”
Mikaela and Miles shared another look before Mikaela sighed and headed out to the living room to speak with Sam much more mature cousin from Oregon.
~*~
Barricade listened to the horrid Christmas music that seemed to be on every radio station. He was more than tempted to just shut the radio off but that would just give ‘Bee the go ahead to start talking to him again. With a sigh, Barricade suffered through another rendition of the song about a deer as he looked about the garage. Sam had decorated it for them and much to his dismay Barricade actually liked the small colored lights about the place. It made for a soft atmosphere.
With a small sigh he followed a piece of garland upwards until his scanners finally found the small cluster of a famous holiday plant hanging innocently over both he and the blasted yellow Autobot scout! ‘I HATE HUMAN HOLIDAY’S!’ Barricade groused to himself and hoped desperately that Bumblebee would fail to notice the innocent bundle hanging above them until Barricade could sneak it out and burn the horrible thing in the morning. No doubt Bumblebee, in all his innocence, would insist that they adhere to the human ritual never mind the fact that he wasn’t privy to all the facts since Barricade had practically forbidden Sam from telling the bug all the details upon his own discovery of the hideous tradition that was the mistletoe.
“Bah humbug.”
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 04:59 am (UTC)Also... ::glare:: you just LOVE tormenting us, don't you? (And by us of course I mean the Bee/Cade fans that you tease and constantly pester with false hopes).
Ah well, Merry Christmas anyway! ^_^
no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 05:32 am (UTC)Merry Christmas! ^________^
no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 09:32 am (UTC)And as a side-note; I LAUGHED. A lot. XD
no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 01:34 pm (UTC)YES. THIS. NAAOO!
*wild snicker* Now, lady... I'm just trying to find the DAMN quote for a couple of gifts and then... Then you'll have yours, too! *HUGS*
PS.
I _need_ some Bee/'Cade action. YES. *pleeeeaaaase* Been wainting for it since chapter...er... forever? *puppy-eyes*
no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 02:38 pm (UTC)*GRIN*
...yeah. I know, but still - I even want 'Cade besparkled. Really and just for the fun of it... or, wait - I actually meant "EVILNESS" of it... *pretty much evil herself*
XDDD
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 02:04 am (UTC)barricade and bumblebee need some love...especially after all that christmas torture...